I saved this and saved it knowing it would get me good, but damn brother, this exceeded even my high expectations. A beautiful essay that’s got me crying on this Canadian ferry right now 🖤
I didn't know people were arguing that Mark S. isn't a person. Did they miss the entire show??? It's a great metaphor for parts work too. So often people want parts of themself to go away. I always hear from clients "I don't like this part of myself. I wish I would stop self harming, stop blaming myself, stop..." whatever else one wants to stop. And all i've ever seen is the more we fight with the parts of ourselves that are in pain the stronger and more rooted they become. And when we show these parts kindness, understanding, love even, they can transform into something beautiful. Mark is fighting with Mark S. trying to force him to go away, I would go so far as to say he's ashamed of creating Mark S. it's always easier to disappear that shame than actually face it. Makes you think what would happen if Mark actually listened to Mark S. his wants and needs. Maybe Mark S. would be more cooperative and trusting if he knew the end goal wasn't to disappear him.
Like imagine if instead of Mark saying "I don't know what will happen when we reintegrate." He asked "what would you like to happen?" when we work with parts we work towards transformation, reintegration is a transformation. I always ask "If you didn't have to do this anymore, what would you do instead?" So what does Mark S. want and need from that transformation? The process has already started, so what is there was cooperation instead? How can Mark S.'s experiences be integrated, accepted as a whole part of self, not tossed out with the psychic trash.
I have not watched this show and didn’t foresee Apple access to do so soon, so I am glad I read through with the spoilers. Really excellent response (and definitely the most interested I’ve been in watching the show now!) What a profound reading of the show. I have not faced a major health challenge or change with our kids yet, but I know I’ve faced some of that ambiguity becoming a parent: what kind of life could my child(ren) have? Even a long life will have pain and suffering and will inevitably end—how do you healthily pass on the complicated nature of living? Of course, kids learn so much of it in their own way and on their own time, but your piece made me think through all of it again.
I saved this and saved it knowing it would get me good, but damn brother, this exceeded even my high expectations. A beautiful essay that’s got me crying on this Canadian ferry right now 🖤
I didn't know people were arguing that Mark S. isn't a person. Did they miss the entire show??? It's a great metaphor for parts work too. So often people want parts of themself to go away. I always hear from clients "I don't like this part of myself. I wish I would stop self harming, stop blaming myself, stop..." whatever else one wants to stop. And all i've ever seen is the more we fight with the parts of ourselves that are in pain the stronger and more rooted they become. And when we show these parts kindness, understanding, love even, they can transform into something beautiful. Mark is fighting with Mark S. trying to force him to go away, I would go so far as to say he's ashamed of creating Mark S. it's always easier to disappear that shame than actually face it. Makes you think what would happen if Mark actually listened to Mark S. his wants and needs. Maybe Mark S. would be more cooperative and trusting if he knew the end goal wasn't to disappear him.
Like imagine if instead of Mark saying "I don't know what will happen when we reintegrate." He asked "what would you like to happen?" when we work with parts we work towards transformation, reintegration is a transformation. I always ask "If you didn't have to do this anymore, what would you do instead?" So what does Mark S. want and need from that transformation? The process has already started, so what is there was cooperation instead? How can Mark S.'s experiences be integrated, accepted as a whole part of self, not tossed out with the psychic trash.
I have not watched this show and didn’t foresee Apple access to do so soon, so I am glad I read through with the spoilers. Really excellent response (and definitely the most interested I’ve been in watching the show now!) What a profound reading of the show. I have not faced a major health challenge or change with our kids yet, but I know I’ve faced some of that ambiguity becoming a parent: what kind of life could my child(ren) have? Even a long life will have pain and suffering and will inevitably end—how do you healthily pass on the complicated nature of living? Of course, kids learn so much of it in their own way and on their own time, but your piece made me think through all of it again.
Gotta go read Death of Ivan Ilyich again!